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Thursday, November 4, 2010

PUPPY POLICE

Officer’s notes at the scene of the crime.
Information
At approximately 9:45 am on Tuesday, November 2, 2010, one for-deposit-bottle of India Pale Ale beer by the Michigan Brewing Company was lifted from a cardboard six-pack carton that was left on the slate-tile floor in the back hallway off the galley kitchen of the victim’s townhouse.  The victim set the pack by the door to the downstairs to remind him to take it down for storage until all of the six-pack was consumed.  The victim reported that there were only four empty bottles in the carton.  The suspect was caught “red-pawed” by witness #1.  See accompanying photograph.
Witness Statements
Witness #1, wife of the victim, had been writing at her computer in an upstairs office when she heard a clanging noise coming from the downstairs.  She said it sounded like her husband had dropped a glass, but it did not “tinkle” like broken glass.  Witness stated that she then heard light but hurried footsteps, like someone running around on tippy-toes in slippers, followed by dull thuds and grunting noises.  She ran downstairs to see and found the suspect lying on the living room rug with said beer bottle cradled between his front paws.  Witness reported that the suspect was gnawing at the mouth of the bottle when she first spotted him, but that the suspect quickly looked up at her.  The witness then ran back upstairs for her camera; when she returned the suspect had a guilty look on his face and was sitting a foot or so away from the bottle, which was then lying on its side.  The witness took a photograph.
The witness said that the suspect has stolen other items (dish towel, running shoe, and dog dish), sometimes right in clear view, and the suspect brought all items to the rug in the small but cozy living room.  Witness and victim agreed that things were getting out of hand, but did not want to press charges against the suspect.  The witness explained that she has been working with the suspect on a “leave it” command and promised to keep loose items out of reach of the suspect.
Witness #2, Gypsy, a brown dog of suspect origin, had nothing to say about the incident except a guttural growl when the suspect approached her.
Picture taken by witness #1:
FLD Gus, perpetrator, caught "red-pawed" with the evidence.

PUPPY POLICE THEFT REPORT
City of:  Clinton Township                  Date:  11/2/10
Victim:  Andy
Witness #1:  patti
Witness #2:  Gypsy
Suspect Description:  between 3 and 4 months old, less than 3 feet tall, about 24 pounds, black fur, unable to discern eye color (dark), jumps around on all fours and has a fiercely wagging tail.

CASE SUMMARY
Just before 10:00 am on Tuesday, November 2, 2010, witness #1 was upstairs and heard noises and footsteps from the floor below.  She came downstairs to investigate and found the suspect with an empty beer bottle in his paws on the rug in the living room.  Witness #1 took a photograph of the suspect near the bottle and found that the cardboard carton in the back hallway only contained three empty bottles.  Witness #2 was present in the living room during the incident, but would not offer up any information. The victim was not present at the time of the incident.  He reported that there were, in fact, four empty bottles in the carton when he left an hour or so earlier.  The townhouse is mostly puppy-proofed, although in the kitchen there were dishtowels hanging from the oven and refrigerator door handles within reach of a puppy.  No charges filed at this time.

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